Hecho en México

I could give a long review of this film because it touched me in a way not many films are able to do, however I think I’ll go ahead with the condensed version. This is only due to the reasoning that it’s 3AM and while I could wait to write this post tomorrow, I’ll probably forget. Hecho en México was recommended to me by a good friend of mine and if this doesn’t prove that this is why we’re meant to be friends then I don’t know what will. He knows I’m a damn frijolera.

Hecho en México is definitely a powerful piece that manifests that the hope of Mexico is in its new generation of musical visionaries. Although not directed by a Mexican himself, this man (Duncan Bridgeman) captures an amazing showcase of the voices and souls of Mexico. Rather than continuously focus on what has been called a failed state at times, Bridgeman envisions Mexico as on the verge of a new birth — embodied by the pregnant Virgin Mary bringing along a new Mexico with it.
If the fact that it’s just an amazing representation of what’s to come from Mexico isn’t enough, the music throughout it is pretty great. It includes some pretty cool artists such as: Café Tacuba, Kinky, Molotov, Alejandro Fernández, Los Tucanes de Tijuana, and many others.

Cosmos

I’ve began reading another Carl Sagan book and honestly I’m excited. I recently made the following list of books I plan on reading, some of which I’ve already read up to this point. Hopefully I’m able to actually achieve a dent in this list by the end of 2017.

• The Accidental Universe – Alan Lightman
• The Blind Watchmaker – Richard Dawkins
• Bonk – Mary Roach
• A Brief History of Time – Stephen Hawking
• Cosmos – Carl Sagan
• The Demon-Haunted World – Carl Sagan
• The Elegant Universe – Brian Greene
• The Fabric of the Cosmos – Brian Greene
• The God Delusion – Richard Dawkins
• Godel, Escher, Bach – Douglas R. Hofstadter
• The Grand Design – Stephen Hawking
• The Greatest Show on Earth – Richard Dawkins
• The Human Age – Diane Ackerman
• Neurocomic – Hana Ros & Matteo Farinella
• Nothing – New Scientist
• The Origin of Species – Charles Darwin
• Origins – Neil Degrasse Tyson
• Oxygen – Donald E. Canfield
• Packing for Mars – Mary Roach
• Pale Blue Dot – Carl Sagan
• Physics of the Impossible – Michio Kaku
• The Pleasure of Finding Things Out – Richard P. Feynman
• Proof: The Science of Booze – Adam Rogers
• Surely You’re Joking, Mr. Feynman – Richard P. Feynman
• The Selfish Gene – Richard Dawkins
• A Short History of Nearly Everything – Bill Bryson
• Undeniable – Bill Nye
• A Universe from Nothing – Lawrence M. Krauss
• The Universe in a Nutshell – Stephen Hawking
• The Double Helix – James D. Watson
• What Is Life? – Erwin Schrödinger
• The Cosmic Connection – Carl Sagan
• The First Three Minutes – Steven Weinberg
• Silent Spring – Rachel Carson
• The Mismeasure of Man – Stephen Jay Gould
• The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat and Other Clinical Tales – Oliver Slacks
• The Feynman Lectures on Physics – Richard P. Feynman, Robert B. Leighton, and Matthew Sands
• Sexual Behavior in the Human Male – Alfred Kinsey
• Gaia – James Lockelock
• Death from the Skies – Phil Plait
• Space Chronicles  – Neil deGrasse Tyson
• The Hidden Reality – Brian Greene
• The Quantum Universe – Brian Cox & Jeff Foresaw
• The Particle at the End of the Universe – Sean Carroll
• From Eternity of Here – Sean Carroll
• Turing’s Cathedral – George Dyson
• What Mad Pursuit – Francis Crick
• My Sister Rosalind – Jenifer Glynn
• The Violinist’s Thumb – Sam Keam
• A Planet of Viruses – Carl Zimmer
• Microcosm – Carl Zimmer
• Parasite Rex – Carl Zimmer
• Spillover – David Quammen
• The Emperor of All Maladies – Siddhartha Mukherjee
• Zoobiquity – Barbara Natterson & Kathryn Bowers
• Wonderful Life – Stephen Jay Gould
• Endless Forms Most Beautiful – Sean Carroll
• The Panda’s Thumb – Stephen Jay Gould
• The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks – Rebecca Skloot
• You Are Not So Smart – David McRaney
• Harnessed – Mark Changizi
• The Vision Revolution – Mark Changizi
• Incognito – David Eagleman
• Hallucinations – Oliver Sacks
• Awakenings – Oliver Sacks
• Connector – Sebastian Seung
• The Tell-Tale Brain – V.S. Ramachandran
• Time, Love, Memory – Jonathan Weiner
• Violation – Frank Ryan
• Cantor’s Dilemma – Carl Djerassi
• A Life Decoded – Craig Venter
• Bad Pharma – Ben Goldacre
• The Perennial Philosophy – Aldous Huxley
• Unnatural Selection – Mara Hvistendahl

Purpose

It’s 2:30AM and I’m struggling with how to put into words what the last three months have been like. I don’t think it’s something I can just sit down and write about all at once because I feel as though I’ve come to realize more things in the past 90 days than I have the previous 22 years. I’m making mistakes, huge ones, daily and that’s okay. I think what’s happened the last three months can’t be explained in one blog post, knowing me it’ll be sporadic pieces I write in moments where I feel inspired… or probably hopeless. To be completely honest to myself, it’ll probably be hopelessness that drives these posts because as much as I try to keep this facade that I’m happy, it’s getting harder to do every day. My life is falling apart and I need to pick up the pieces. When I turned 22 I immediately tore my life apart, purposely, just to see what it would be like to lose control. Unfortunately, I found out that I’m not the person I thought I was. I’m not the organized, studious, and driven Cindy I’ve come to know. That’s who Emily wanted me to be, so it’s who I became. She molded me for four years, and eventually I couldn’t take it. I’m spontaneous and unorganized and unsure of what the future holds and that’s fucking okay.

This blog has no purpose. I’m still unsure if it will be something I share publicly or keep as a diary of my own. There is a fear of judgement from my peers because I left my scholarship because I’m unsure of what I want in life at this moment. All around me everyone and everything is driven by materialistic and monetary objects, which have never really held any value with me. I’m struggling to find purpose in life, in education, in anything other than this made up concept of money.  I’m just trying to find my purpose in the grand scheme of things, because without it I can’t be happy.